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Here is a timeline of the Lawn Mowing Chester's mowing activities as compared to that of a human being (i.e. myself).


  • 04-02-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I only weed ate the front yard.

  • 04-14-2003-----I mowed and weed ate my entire yard front and back.

  • 04-19-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 04-23-2003-----As of today it has been 1 year since the Lawn Mowing Chester last weed ate.

  • 04-23-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester is Alive!  It's winter's hibernation is apparently over.  Alas, it could only muster enough strength to mow it's front yard and do no weed eating.

  • 04-24-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester made another appearance today, it mowed it's back yard after much strain.  It still has not weed eat.

  • 04-27-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 05-03-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 05-04-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester mowed it's front yard and one-third of it's back yard.  It had to stop due to a malfunction of it's mower.

  • 05-13-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 05-19-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 05-24-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester mowed and weed ate it's entire lawn in an amazing display of stamina heretofore unseen in it's species.

  • 05-26-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I weed ate the back yard, but couldn't get the front due to running out of weed eating line.

  • 05-27-2003-----I finished weed eating the front yard.  I couldn't put it off as long as my simian bi-peded friend.

  • 06-01-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 06-09-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 06-10-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester mowed it's front yard today, it couldn't summon the strength to complete the task. 

  • 06-17-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 06-22-2003-----I weed ate my entire yard front and back.

  • 06-23-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.

  • 06-23-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester mowed it's front and back yard today.  Apparently nearly 2 weeks of hibernation helped it gain the strength to complete the task.

  • 07-04-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 07-12-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 07-12-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester mowed it's front yard today.  It couldn't muster the strength to do the back yard.  Much to it's dismay a heavy rain pelted down this evening preventing a possible completion of it's yard mowing activities in the foreseeable future.

  • 07-18-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 07-20-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester finally completed the lawn mowing session it started on 07-12-2003.  It completed it's back yard on the highest possible setting on the lawn mower.  Since it hadn't mown the back yard since 06-23-2003 the mower setting should come as no surprise.  At the afore mentioned setting the lawn is still 2" taller than my lawn and now requires bailing.

  • 07-23-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 08-02-2003-----I mowed and weed ate my entire yard front and back.  I also jumped the fence and weed ate the Lawn Mowing Chester's fence line that borders my lawn.  I figured that a foot was to tall for it's fence line grass.  Did I get any thanks for this service.....No!  Just like any creature of simian descent all I received from it was a paw full of dung, flung my way.

  • 08-09-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 08-13-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester mowed it's front lawn at 9:30 a.m. today.  How it got up that early I'll never know.  It still couldn't summon the energy to mow it's back lawn.  The back lawn was last mowed almost 2 months ago (6-23-03).

  • 08-16-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 08-20-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester finally mowed it's back yard today.  It made sure that I was not around to witness the event.  Actually it was more like pushing the foliage down than cutting it, since it has been three days short of 2 months since it last mowed the back yard.  The lawn still looks almost as nappy as the mullet the Chester sports.

  • 08-24-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 09-01-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 09-06-2003-----I mowed and weed ate my entire yard front and back.

  • 09-06-2003-----The Lawn Mowing Chester started mowing today about the same time I did, but only had the stamina and energy to complete the front yard.  Perhaps this lack of stamina and energy could lend a clue to the extinction of it's species.  In the Darwinian of world of survival of the fittest, the Lawn Mowing Chester lacks the energy and stamina to outlast a left-handed, tubercular quadriplegic.  How has this one survived so long?

  • 09-11-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 09-12-2003-----Today the Lawn Mowing Chester mowed it's back yard.  Mowing the back yard and front yards in a span of less than a week, surely the stars are aligned in it's favor.  It sent me the following message via e-mail (Who knew?):  "mowed back yard.     mower did not die once, due to dry grass.     weed eat Sat."  This is copied exactly as I received it.  Note the use of lower case letters to start the sentences, only the letter S in Sat. is capitalized.  To the trained observer such as myself this would indicate an inferiority complex.  Also, note the use of incomplete sentences as well as the abbreviation of the word Saturday.  This would seem to indicate the presence of a completion anxiety, which could explain it's inability to complete mowing it's entire yard in the same day.  Though very brief and very simple this message has revealed a great deal about the Lawn Mowing Chester.  Simpleton is the key word.

  • 09-20-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 09-26-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.

  • 10-13-2003-----Today the Lawn Mowing Chester corralled me out in the yard and asked me if I had seen its mower.  Apparently its mower has been stolen and it has taken it this long to miss it.  I hardly ever see its mower when it is mowing much less any other time.

  • 10-19-2003-----I mowed my entire yard front and back.  I did not weed eat at this time.